How my day has gone:
12:03am – Bed.
12:06am – Police helicopter begins circling.
12:07am – Turn on Friends reruns.
12:34am – Police helicopter finally decides to go bother someone else. Back to sleep
1:07am – Awoken by cries of toddler in extreme duress. Or just doesn’t want to sleep in his crib.
1:11am – Yeah, it was that last one.
3:36am – Toddler has been laying on my arm for two hours and the pain in my hand has become unbearable.
3:40am – Return from bathroom to find toddler has taken over my spot. The dog’s bed beckons.
5:03am – Awoken by kick to face by toddler.
6:00am – Awoken by wife leaving for work. “Just wanted to say goodbye.” Sweet.
6:33am – Toddler realizes wife has left for work. This displeases him. Loudly.
7:27am – Toddler wakes up and decides that cartoons are necessary. Loudly.
7:28am – I turn on cartoons and try to understand what happened to my night.
8:01am – He’s dressed. That’s all we’re going to say.
8:05am – I begin my attempt to get ready while keeping him from tossing everything out of the bathroom cabinets.
8:14am – I start breakfast. I have secured him in his high chair. There is peace in our time.
8:44am – I suspect that he has begun chemical warfare.
8:45am – He has.
9:01am – We make it out the door.
9:37am – I drop him off at school. He gives me a hug and waves when I leave.