The Process

Have you ever had an idea, that seems so evident and complete, that you are sure that it has been done already?  Like Paul McCartney writing Yesterday, the melody was so complete he knew it must have already been written.

I had an idea pop into my head, the rough story of a novel.  It is so clear in my head, so visually evident, that I am doing bizarre internet searches trying to make sure that no one has already written it.

So far, I’m coming up empty, but I can’t imagine that it doesn’t already exist.

The muse has been avoiding me lately it feels.

Or, more likely, I’ve been avoiding the muse.  It is easier to not write, and ignore the thoughts in my own head than to take the time to write it down.

The world has been irritating me.  Not just politics, although that is certainly some of it.  But just my world, has seemed small and petty.  I’ve been very wrapped up in the details of life, and that is not conducive to my general writing process.  My days off have been spent either sick, or caring for a sick little one, or trying to catch up on all the life I missed when everyone was sick.

It keeps me from writing.  Which has the effect of making me doubt my writing, which makes it harder to write.

The travel bug is biting.

Group-On keeps sending me amazing deals on international travels.  I want to visit cities I haven’t gotten the chance to see, and see where that creativity takes me.

However, life is always just around the corner.  Also, it is winter, and who wants to travel in winter?  Unless it is to the Carribbean…then bon voyage!

I have 4 blog posts sitting in my drafts folder.  None of them are finished; 3 are only missing a conclusion.  But I can’t finish them.  Mostly sure I never will.  I am afraid to post them, afraid of the thoughts inside of them and of releasing them to the world.  Rather they just stay in the dark, locked away from seeing daylight.

It isn’t that I don’t think they’re good, I absolutely do.  It is mostly that I’m not ready for the conversation, and for that I will leave them.

For now.  Maybe I will find the bravery to trust and take a leap.

It is almost a new year.  It is time to reflect and renew.  A chance to start over.

And after this year, we need to start over.

God, what a dumpster fire…

My dog has made himself quite comfortable in my lap.  It does make typing on my computer slightly more difficult, but totally worth it.

Completely worth it.

The process of writing is a deeply personal one.  I’ve never asked how anyone else does it.  Perhaps that is why mine is so poor; I’ve never found a better way.

But sometimes you have to purge, to get rid of all the waste that is clogged up to allow fresh ideas to flow.  This is but a taste of what my brain looks like when I sit down to write.

Now, it’s time to get to work.


Until next time friends…

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