Spirits of Relationships Passed: A Story

The door slammed shut hard.

“Dammit!”  Amy turned around, fire in her eyes.  “You’re such an asshole Steven.”

“What? I don’t know what I did!”

“That’s the third guy this month.  You can’t just keep scaring away my dates!”

“Hey if they can’t handle your roommate…”

“I don’t think it’s the roommate situation they can’t handle, Steven.  I think it’s probably the way you come floating up out of the couch we are about to sit down on.”

Steven huffed with an air of indignation.  “Well, that guy was no good anyways.”

“You barely saw him!  How could you possibly know that?”

“His grandmother told me that he stole his dad’s car in 2000,” he stated with finality, folding his arms.

“So he was, like…what, 15?!  I’m sure we’ve all done some things our grandmothers wouldn’t be proud of when we were 15.”

“Yeah, your’s was particularly surprised at the things you did with Bobby in the 10th grade…”

“STOP TALKING TO MY NANA!”  Amy closed her eyes and looked down, struggling to regain her composure.  “Look Steven, this isn’t working,” she said with closed eyes and gritted teeth.  “You can’t keep scaring off my dates.  I’m going to end up alone with 13 cats.”

“And a great roommate!”

“You are not a roommate.  You don’t pay rent.  You don’t go to the store.  You don’t dust.”

“Sounds like a roommate to me!” Steven answered with a smile.

“You’re transparent,” Amy retorted.

“That’s…a little insulting.  And highly accurate.”

Amy looked at him.  “You’ve been with me for a long time.  I’m not really sure how to live without you anymore.  But every single one of my relationships can’t be…,” Amy paused, and with a smirk, “…haunted.”

Steven made a valiant effort, but cracked a smile in spite of himself.  “So, what?  I should just let you Netflix and chill with any guy off the street?  I need to take care of you somehow.  And the physical aspect is slightly more…intangible for me.”

“Well, let’s wait and see if I can even get another date.  I’m beginning to get a reputation.”  Amy turned towards the kitchen.  “Then you can start talking to little old ladies to see if they pass your test.”  She looked at the clock.  “How about an episode of Ghost Hunters or two before I go to bed?”

“Now that’s insulting…” Steven muttered as he headed towards the remote.

One thought on “Spirits of Relationships Passed: A Story

  1. Pingback: Goodbye & Godspeed | Sword & Quill

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