There are these moments in life, these periods in which you seem to be suspended. Like being on a roller-coaster, just waiting for gravity and momentum to push you over the edge. That is where I am right now.
I can’t go backwards into the life I have been living for the past three years. The comfort and understanding of an existance I have had. It is time to move forward.
I can’t go forwards into the life I will be living for the next great while. The unknown and questions all grand and wonderful. It is not yet time to take that plunge.
So I wait and wonder and hope and dream. I find it difficult to work on the things I need to. On the things I want to. I find it hard to write with so many questions in my mind. I find it hard to focus and just exist in harmony with the universe around me, allowing the current to move me along, when I don’t know the direction of the river.
I find myself thinking about the journy I have been on the last few years; the decisions and mistakes, the good times and bad, friends still remembered and relationships changed. I think about how I haven’t really been settled over the last 10 years, constantly waiting for real life to start. When in reality, this is real life. It has been waiting for me.
I got to meet a hero this week. I saw amazing things. I got to enjoy being around my son. I got to enjoy some quiet evenings with my wife. This is real life. The questions will go on, and the universe will take me where it does. But no matter the path, I don’t walk it alone.